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Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Back To Reality

So it's been a long time since I have felt inspired to write a post. Not that I feel inspired today necessarily, but I am home sick from school, so why not? A friend of mine asked recently why I hadn't written more about Brazil and I didn't really know what to say. You see, when you go on a mission trip, sometimes words are the last thing you want to use to describe it. There is just no way you could describe such an experience with words, sometimes they just seem so futile. But I was privileged to talk at school about my trip, which forced me to put my abstract thoughts into coherent sentences. I have been so blessed by learning how many people were praying for us, and truly want to hear about our experiences. Sometimes, when someone asks the dreaded worst question ever, "How was your trip?", I really wonder if they want to know. Just like when someone asks "How are you?" Generally, they just want a quick one or two sentance answer. But since I have been back at church in Corvallis, and back at school, I have been blessed by how many people truly want to know about the trip and what God did while we were there. I feel so loved and taken care of. There were even people who missed my presentations both at church and school and want me to come over to their houses to talk about it. What a great gift you could give a missionary, the gift of caring enough that you truly want to know what God is doing in another part of the world. I am so thankful for this church family I have here! And it is so awesome to see how that family is expanding through my new friends at school!
I was a little nervous about how it would be to be at a Bible school at one church and on staff and attending another church. It seems so silly that there is a spirit of "competition" between churches, especially when we are all pressing on towards the same goal, to have Christ as the forefront of our lives, and to love others as He loved us. But, despite that, there is still some sort of competition. But God has been gracious to me, in that I haven't felt "torn" between two church families. Instead, I have felt simply welcomed into another, where they still care about what is going on in my life, even if it involves another church. What a spirit of unity I have been so fortunate to experience! I am so thankful for all these life lessons I am learning while at school, but not necessarily from the curriculum. This year has been such a blessing to me!
I think the other reason I didn't know what to write on a new blog entry was that I am starting to feel restless again. I told myself that I would wait until March to start looking for jobs, and thinking about the future, becuase I want to give this year my full attention, live in the moment where God has me right now. But I can't deny my planner side of my personality either. I want to know where I am going in 5 months. And some of the things I am thinking about doing sound pretty crazy. I don't think I am ready to really talk about them yet, but God is moving in my heart, and that is creating this restless feeling in me. More than anything though, I am excited to see where this all is going to take me. I know it is no mistake that I have spent this year in preparation and training. For what though is what I don't know. What a blessed mystery to have a God who only reveals his plans for us one bit at a time!

2 comments:

Sheri said...

Told you I'd be checking! I REALLY want to hear about the trip. When we get back we will have to take the time to "talk". I will be praying for you that God will be showing you your next step. I'm finding Him to be faithful :)! Blessings.

Terri said...

What crazy things are you thinking about darling daughter? I want the scoop! Love you, Mom